Turning Tables

The pace of work is steadily quickening as we inch closer to the launch of my project at the end of this month, and every day is getting more and more tiring, both mentally and physically.

Of course, part of the reason is because I hurt my back during basketball over the weekend, which did nothing to help me get past each day any easier.

Anyway, I went for my bible study class after work today and had to skip dinner because there was simply no time. Straight after the lesson ended, I rushed down to Borders to help my wife find some books she needed for her course.

And you thought the public libraries were bad! After 15 minutes of back-breaking rummaging through the messy, low shelves, I gave up and approached the counter staff for help in finding those two elusive titles. She directed me back to the same shelves where I tried in vain for another 15 minutes before I had to ask for help again.

An hour had passed by the time the bookstore staff’s assistance ended in futility as well. By then I was tired, starving and my back hurting badly from the bending, squatting and crawling at the shelves. Still, no book. Not even one.

Naturally, I wasn’t in the best of moods. Yet at the back of my mind, at least I know my wife would be appreciative of the effort. And really, all I wanted was a simple “thank you” for the effort, some appreciation for trying. Nothing more, nothing less.

It never came.

Instead, I was left wondering on my long journey home if I should have even bothered at all. The feeling was like you cleaned up the whole house when you were young, and all your mother could say was why you used up so much soap and detergent.

I felt stupid. I felt I had wasted my time. And truth be told, I felt taken for granted.

Would it have been better if I had just gone straight home after class? It’s hard when you get faulted for not trying, and made to feel silly when you do.

Maybe I was just plain stubborn to insist that I get to hear “thank you” instead of everything else. And yes, it’s stupid of me to expect she would know what I was hoping to hear without me saying, and get upset when she doesn’t.

Besides, wasn’t I always the one complaining that guys are not psychics, that they can’t read people’s minds and telling them what you expect of them is very much appreciated?

Tables are turned this time, and what an irony it all is.